How To Fart

You know the feeling.  You are feeling gassy and need to fart but you can’t get the gas out.  Your stomach is killing you.

Here’s the good news.  When you are feeling gassy there are yoga poses that can help you get your farts out.

Yoga poses to help you fart

The next time you are having trouble passing gas you can try these yoga poses.  Make sure you are practicing deep breathing and allow your stomach to expand.

Wind-Relieving pose (Pawanmuktasana)

1. Lie on your back and bring your legs straight up to 90 degrees.
2. Bend both knees and bring your thighs into your stomach.
3. Keep your knees and ankles together.
4. Bring your arms around your legs.
5. Clasp your hands together or take hold of your elbows.
6. Lift up your neck and tuck your chin into your chest or bring it onto your knees.

Seated Forward Bend (Paschimottanasana)

1. Sit with your butt on a folded blanket or cushion with your legs extended.
2. Press through your heels and draw your toes back toward your shins. You can keep a slight bend in your knees.
3. Place your hands alongside your body and press into the floor as you lengthen your spine.
4. Open your heart center as you root into your sit bones.
5. On an exhale, slowly hinge at your hips and fold forward.
6. Walk your hands alongside your body. Rest them on the floor or on your legs. You can also clasp your hands around your feet.
7. With each inhale, lift your torso slightly and lengthen your spine.
8. On each exhale, lower yourself deeper into the pose.

Child’s pose (Balasana)

This position works wonders when you need to fart.

1. Begin on your hands and knees. Center your breath, and begin to let your thoughts slow down. Turn your awareness inward.
2. Spread your knees wide apart while keeping your big toes touching. Rest your buttocks on your heels.
3. Sit up straight and lengthen your spine up through the crown of your head.
4. On an exhalation, bow forward, draping your torso between your thighs. Your heart and chest should rest between or on top of your thighs. Allow your forehead to come to the floor.
5. Keep your arms long and extended, palms facing down. Press back slightly with your hands to keep your buttocks in contact with your heels. Lengthen from your hips to your armpits, and then extend even further through your fingertips.
6. Let your upper back broaden. Soften and relax your lower back. Allow all tension in your shoulders, arms, and neck to drain away.
7. Keep your gaze drawn inward with your eyes closed.
8. Hold for up to a minute or longer, breathing softly.
9. To release the pose, gently use your hands to walk your torso upright to sit back on your heels.

Two-Knee Spinal Twist pose (Supta Matsyendrasana)

1. Begin by lying on your back. Exhale as you press your lower back lightly into the floor.
2. With your abdominal muscles contracted, inhale as you bend your knees and lift your feet off the floor.
3. Exhale, as you open your arms out to the side in one straight line with your shoulders, palms facing down for support. Continue to support your spine with your core muscles. Bring your feet and knees together.
4. As you inhale lift your heels slightly higher than your knees.
5. Exhale as you slowly lower both legs to the left to the floor keeping your feet and knees stacked. Knees should be at the level of your hips and your heels resting about a foot away from the buttocks.
6. Continue to breath slowly as you let your head turn naturally to the right. Encourage your right shoulder to root down maintaining the twist through the upper spine. Having arms at or just below your shoulder level will increase the ease of rooting the shoulders down. Hold for at least 20 seconds.
7. To exit, press both hands into the floor at shoulder level and contract your abdominal muscles. As you inhale lift your knees and feet up over your chest. Hold onto your knees with both hands.
8. As you exhale, draw your thighs down into your chest as you lift your head and chest into the thighs and knees. Avoid lifting your shoulders as the head rises to the knees.
9. Lower your head and shoulders to the floor and contract your abdominals as you open the arms again to twist to the other side. Repeat entrance into and exit out of twist on the right side.

Happy Baby pose (Ananda Balasana)

1. Begin lying comfortably on the back. Bend your knees in to your chest and separate the feet and knees wide, holding on to the outer (pinky toe) edges of the feet.
2. Stack your ankles over your knees, bringing the shins perpendicular to the floor, and gently begin to pull down on the feet, finding the action of bringing the knees closer to the armpits.
3. Lengthen your tailbone down toward the mat to find the natural curve of the low back, and draw your shoulders onto your back.
4. Keep your feet flexed and extend out energetically through the heels.
5. If it feels appropriate, you can gently rock from side to side, providing a deeper release in the inner groins.
6. Remain in the pose for 5-15 full, deep breaths. To come out, release the grip on the feet, bend the knees into the chest, and wrap your arms around your legs before extending them straight down onto the mat.

If all else fails and you need to fart just eat some dried apricots and get ready for the fireworks!